Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Japan's 10,000-Year-Old Underwater 'Pyramid' Is Still One of the World’s Biggest Unsolved Mysteries—No One Knows Who Built It - The Daily Galaxy

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I actually pay taxes

Connor Zilisch and crew chief Dale Earnhardt Jr. win Pocono NASCAR Xfinity race - Motorsport.com

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Why would my husband cheat on me with an ugly fat woman?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Should we consider deporting democrats to Canada?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

5 ways Diabetes impacts the eyes - Times of India

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Nasa delays next flight of Boeing’s alternative to SpaceX Dragon - The Edge Malaysia

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have a reading level above third grade

MindsEye team deploys first hotfix as they scramble to make the dang thing work - Polygon

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Spotify Just Upgraded Its App with Some Cool New Features - Gear Patrol

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Boy, 8, dies hours after complaining of headache when infection spread to brain - The US Sun

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Why do men like to have sex with a woman's ass?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I see through liars

I can read

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t buy bullshit

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I can count

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”